One thing at a time.

Since I seem to be in self-improvement mode, or just get real mode, I guess what I wish the most would be that it would be possible to tackle things one at a time, because my goals are conflicting. I'm still trying to have a good time in Colorado, and go out, but it diverts attention from work, doesn't do the budget well and on the net, at this point, I'm finding it more stress-inducing than fun (even if I think that it is a necessary discomfort if I'm going to grow as a person and be able to manage myself in an even more extroverted culture). Maybe I just need to train for a marathon, so that I'll be in such dopamine high most of the week I don't care. I'm also unable to rid myself of the notion of skydiving, that it would be so transcendant so as to be transformative. Magic thinking, but a new plank in my “ultimate to do” list is to do at least one thing crazy a year, and so far I don't think I've accomplished that yet this year. But I guess despite crazy goals, sometimes the most prosaic ones are actually the ones that lead to the most happiness.

Iyam, whateyeam. I guess I have to be true to my goal of being a wandering bum, and continue poco a poco to keep things in balance without focusing exclusively on financial preparations.

A man, a plan, a canal, Panama. Backwards or forwards it's time to get muy serio. Muy cheapskatish.

Today I was intending to do some work, but I've decided instead to get a plan together for what I need to budget for FY '05-08 and the next journey. Especially, since I realize how much money I've thrown away this year under the guise that I would work more than enough at Starbucks or Borders to make up for it. I fear that the Taxman with his sickle cometh, and it's not going to be a pretty state of things. It's time to start tightening the buckle and get comfortable with less, which is hard because I've never been a thrifty person...but I'm definitely going to have to learn to count my pesos and live how most of the world lives.

And, yes, starting today, after I've already flushed 11 bucks down the drain by eating out and going to the green mermaid, I'm going to start the axe. That's the thing about luxuries, after awhile they don't add anything to your life, but when you take them away, you definitely feel their absence.

Hereby resolved, I couldn't stand listening to the same type of music every day, so I bought a subscription to Rhapsody (another 10 bucks down the drain every month)...but I'm going to cancel and go get new music at the library to listen to each week, or bring in my boom box.
I bought a TMOBILE subscription since they have so many hotspots, but I know there are coffee places that offer free wireless for a small purchase, even if I have to drive further, and again, the library.

Eating out is probably the biggest waste I make, and most of the time the food isn't even very good or healthful. I just do it to spend time away from the office, but I could probably just go take a 30 minute walk every day, since it's by the highline canal and there's a trail. Also, I'm keeping the weight off, but I think I'd get in even better shape if I made my lunches be part of my training regimen.

I guess not everything's exciting about getting ready for this adventure, but definitely necessary, and I don't have much more time to lose. Priorities, priorities.

Have the stories begun! Irony writ Jumbotron out the Yin-Yang

I'm listening to bluegrass music (Alison Krauss), streaming via Rhapsody. It's too early on a Sunday and I'm in the office, about to put in a full day to catch up. The more things change...
Today, I'm reminded of a Taoist parable, about a peasant who suffers a series of reverses in his life, and with every reverse, what had formerly seemed good appeared bad, and vice versa. Stir and repeat.

I've been pondering this weekend, because I almost feel like it was a ready-made, beautifully-crafted short story full of foreshadowing, symbolism, double ironies, jubilation and pathos that captures part of the zeitgeist very well. I feel like I just need to type it right up in one draft, and send it to some literary journal (to some obscure journal also called zeitgeist no doubt). Then I imagined a new genre, or maybe not new, since I'm sure someone must've thunk it, but less common for short stories -- that of one story, two perspectives, but perhaps with the novelty aspect of two different authors describing the same events. I just try to imagine knowing the whole story, the glories of the omniscient narrator. Would I really want to have that knowledge?

The personal positive I'm trying to derive from my bit role in a novella, is that if I weren't starting to take risks, I would still be the non-spectacle of a creative, intelligent person with nothing to say and no interesting stories whatsoever. Also, because part of the story involves transparency and the open book of the Internet, I found it fascinating to get a window into the thought processes of a person, when most of the time, we are left to our imaginations and multiple-competing hypotheses. Fascinating, but in this case, I did have an upset stomach :-( , and kind of short-circuited finding out what was really thought of me if I were to play fly on the wall, because I really don't desire to be any more self-conscious when meeting new people. But hey, maybe it should be a lesson to grow a thicker skin, since people can only see within the constraints of limited enniemennieminniemo - they might easily miss you if their eyes are cast off in another direction, or the lighting ain't so hot.

Well, I won't add more, keep things mostly on the enigmatic side, I'm not one to name names or link links (even if it could be she wants that for all I can fathom, since she was the one who off-handedly brought up her blog) and I'm more amused anyways at this point.

If anything, being a programmer has taught me to speak in code... Another positive of this weekend, is I think I ought to change that to a certain extent if I want to be a successful writer. But hey, you readers are going to have to dole out cash and buy the book. No internet freebies, it ain't 1998 folks!

(I’m just waiting for more irony to drip from the sky, since my “short story weekend” did involve the PC tangentially… I think that would have to be if I don’t manage to get clearance to go, and I have PC stories without ever being a volunteer on the ground!)

Rafting the Arkansas River -- 3 Stars

Me and my bro went rafting down the Arkansas River the weekend before last, on the Royal Gorge section. Highlights: Dave managed to fall out of the raft although we were in the front as the pace setters of the rowing. He claims something about a “rock,” but I adamantly insist he messed up the foot-position somehow just to add to the interminable nagging he suffers. (And yes, if you are reading this, you are in debt to me for life for saving you from the turbulent waters at great expense to my vertebrae. ) The water was flowing at about 3000 cubic something or another, which I think was good for the river, so I hear. It was neat looking up at the Bridge, but over all, I'm not that fond of the desert-like terrain along that particular route. I think there were a few class 4s, but mostly 2s and 3s. I'm thinking to give it ago further north on the river, where I've heard it's more scenic.

Adventures in Dentistry (My 1st Peace Corps Story of Scary Medicine!)

The past two weeks I've been scrambling to all the medical tests done to get my medical clearance to serve in Latin America. In my haste to get my visit to the dentist over with, since I've never had a cavity (about my only crowning, or non-crowning as the case may be, achievement to this point ) and thought I just needed a clean bill of health, I went ahead and called a store front operation with a goofy name who could get me an appointment the next day.

In the dingy waiting room lobby, after signing in, I overheard one of the dentists haggling with a patient through the thin walls, "It's 2300 with the plan, otherwise it's 6000." I got a bit nervous hearing this, and it echoes in my brain over the next hour of waiting, and my gut started telling me I probably should just leave. I finally met the dentist, a big, lumbering guy who I got a bad feeling about from his mannerisms and style of introduction. I explained that I just needed the PC evaluation form filled out and x-rays, and he said something like "sure, I'll just need this overnight, it's a long form, after I get your diagnosis." I got more nervous when he said "diagnosis" since it presupposed finding a problem (although I guess it could be used less frequently in the context of diagnosing health).

And sure enough after reviewing the x-rays he said in practically one breath "everything is good, but you have two small cavities, schedule Mr. Lesser for treatment as soon as possible. I'll give you the form after treatment." Because I wasn't used to this terse pushiness and taking my form almost as a hostage, I went with my gut and said firmly that there was another dentist I already had who I would go to for any treatment, and that I only came to have the form filled out. It turns out I should have told him that I'd rather knock my own teeth out with a rock á la “Cast Away” than for him to get a drill within ten feet of my mouth.
I further told him I would pay for the exam and the x-rays if he filled out the form and go for treatment to the other dentist, but then he said it would be "unethical" and then abruptly walked away and said "no charge."

Today, I went to another dentist (who as a very good professional actually spent more than three minutes looking at my mouth, and filled the PC form out right then and there in every detail), and found out one possiblity as to why he had such a bizzare reaction to the concept of a second opinion -- there were no cavities to be filled! I must've had a piece of black jack gum stuck back there that unbeingknownst to me caused misdiagnosis of cavities, or among the other less heartening possibilities, not everyone who has a scrap of paper and wears the garb is worthy of trust.

I'm pissed off!!! But breathing a sigh of relief. My advice to everyone, find a good Mormon dentist, who is in demand enough that you have to wait a few days.