Tuning in the Mideast

I've finally succumbed to the DVR bug and went and got DirectTV. By accident, they seem to have an Arabic channel from Egypt called mbc that's not blocked off that I've been watching when not watching Comedy Central or Telefutura -- lots of music videos, dubbed over telenovelas, and the occasional comedy. The first day after they set-up the system, all the sudden the channels to the upstairs t.v. started changing without touching the remote. I'd change it back to mbc, and a few seconds later it would change to another channel. The remote controls for DirectTV work with both IR and Radio waves, so the next door neighbors were on the same frequency and hence we were switching each other's channels. I just laughed a little bit imagining they must be saying “WTF?!”, as they get Egypt's Top 40 music video count down or equivalent.

I've also been watching snippets of Arabic T.V. via the web, which is good because one of the sites includes subtitles that fill in some of the gaps in my comprehension: http://www.memritv.org/. It's a mix of some interesting countercultural voices within Arab society along with a larger number of standard opinions. And then there is Sheik Jassem Al-Mutawa , the inadvertant comedian -- sheesh, he definitely has strange uses for the Internet to say the least.

The Law of Nunchuks

”He who picks up the nunchuks, will soon sing as a soprano.”

Preparing for a move, I recently tossed out my nunchuk, a childhood artifact from when I was one stripe away from a brown belt. Trashing my instrument of self-inflicted bumps and bruises, I recollected katas (the “everybody was kung-fu fighting” dancing sans music), counting cadence to each punch in Japanese and how I could do a roundhouse kick above my head that would now probably snap-crackle-pop a few tendons. I remembered the sparing tournament where I got robbed because the judges didn't see that my “lightning” punches reached their target (those damn Cobras!). I reminisced on how I resembled an ugly version of Ralph Macchio enough that more than a few people had called me “Daniel-san.”

I knew from the beginning when I picked up the nunchuks, I was the only person who would end up thrashed. It would have been beyond cool to be able to wield them like Bruce Lee, beyond bad ass to break cement blocks with bare hands and do thumb push-ups. But to wax metaphoric, it is the human condition to be drawn to that which will more often than not kick your own ass, your hopes of glory notwithstanding.

Colorado v. Texas -- The Definitive Guide Part One

After living in both Texas and Colorado for most of my life, and since I have nothing else to write about, I thought I'd start compiling a list of their relative merits and demerits, mixing in various peeves and rehashed stereotypes. To start the list:

Texas

Pro: Before I moved to Texas, I was terrified it would resemble an episode of “Walker, Texas Ranger.“ It more closely resembles an episode of “Fresh Prince of Bel Air.“ This is more speaking of Dallas, but I've never seen more ostentatious display of bling-bling. Every day I drove to work past mansions, got the finger from drivers in automobiles many multiples of my income, and went to the gym where there was no lack of trophy wives staying award-winning with and without surgical means. As a person without much material ambition, the good side effects of the “Dallas“-ness of Dallas are that there is no end of great restaurants, malls and movie theaters that even the plebians can (on occasion) enjoy.

Con: Hate to break it to y'all, but Alaska's bigger. And, really, “Don't Mess with Texas.“ Or what? Do you really want a de facto state motto that makes your state sound as pissed off as a meth-head, Hell's Angel biker rolling down the road despite a bad case of hemorrhoids.
And if you're going to be such a tough guy, let's go all the way, Huntsville death-row Pay-Per-View, mandatory concealed firearms, Poker saloons on every corner with Friday free-for-all brawls. That's right, “Walker, Texas Ranger.” And “Hey-sus,” I'm prone to forgeting what the Texas flag and outline of Texas look like, maybe you can refresh my memory by plastering them on every visible surface.

Colorado

Pro: Most cost-effective place to join the “Mile-High“ club. You don't even need plane tickets!

Con: Colorado is practically the world capital of health fanatics and outdoor adventurers -- namely, those intrepid, vivacious souls who make the rest of us look lazy. If, there's any consolation, I find it in sitting on my ass, watching cable and knowing I'm not going to need an ACL replaced from a skiing mishap, ever have to pray my avalanche transponder is in working order, or hope I have a rusty pocket knife to free myself from a massive boulder that is pinning my arm while buzzards circle. In Texas, the outdoors is usually hell-hot, so no excuse is needed for staying indoors other than sanity.

Pro: The all-time greatest cartoon series “South Park” is set in Colorado. Living in Colorado affords special insider understanding of jokes about the rich in Cherry Creek, the restaurant Casa Bonita or of long running local commercial jingles alluded to. “King of the Hill” grows on you, but still lacks the raw, genius acerbity of “South Park.”

Washed-Out Photography from the Pinacle of Pike's Peak -- Colorado Springs

A snapshot from the moonscape 14,000 ft high on Pike's Peak. Pasttreeline, there is not much but cactii, tundra grass, and a beaver-looking creature called a yellow-bellied marmot.

Luckily, we didn't have to climb to the top, rather there is a cog railway that can take you up, past a lot of breath-taking scenary, up tothe top where your breath is completely taken away - literally. I was pretty dizzy, but the fried doughtnuts at the park station on the summit helped a bit, although I would take a hit of oxygen if I went again.