The Top Ten Reasons I’m Joining the Peace Corps
10) If I overhear “I want a Venti double-mocha non-fat extra whip” one more time, I’m going to have a Grande, double-pissed-off, hyper-caffeinated meltdown.
9) The two-cent dialogue of the final episode of Star Wars ignited the desire in me to go to the closest thing to a galaxy, far, far away from two-hundred million dollar productions whose screen play is best explained as being written by Jar Jar Binks on smack. If it wins an Academy award, I’m seriously going to start doubting the power of good side of the Force.
8) I’m just not McLovin’ it.
7) Tivo’s got it covered baby. Oh yeah. God bless Taiwan.
6) Dunno. Never hurts to know another language to whisper sweet nothings into a woman’s ear. Or to say, “hey, get me another cerveza, the game is on! Burp.“
5) I can handle having no running water. It’s an inconvenient waste of time to shower every day anyway. (So, I would move to France but for my inveterate hatred of berets, mimes, and Cirque du Soleil weirdness. Okay, I’m the stereotypical, geographically-inept American -- Cirque du Soleil is from Quebec, but what’s the diff?)
4) I’m just not that bright. I’m willing to eat fine delicacies whether they are cow eyeballs or grubs, and I’m willing to suffer exposure to every sort of science fiction -sized insect or arachnid for free, when I could win $50,000 dollars if I just did the exact same thing on “Fear Factor.”
3) I want to live simpler. To live closer to the land. To leave a smaller ecological footprint. To be in tune with the cycles of nature, sunrise and sunset, and not the hands of a clock. Nevertheless, if I ever have a rooster wake me up at four in the morning again, let’s just say I will be introducing Chik-Fil-A chicken biscuits to my host country pronto.
2) I watched the old Coca-Cola commercial “I’d like to teach the world to sing (in perfect harmony)” so many times, the only way I can figure to get the jingle out of my head is to finally go do something to make the world go sing in perfect harmony. Or at least make the world sing better than William Hung and most the rest of the wannabes on American Idol.
1) I figure if it’s the hardest job I’ll ever love, the rest of my career will be a cake walk. Or at the very least, I will have an excuse to break the mold in the name of diversity…”Oh, sorry I would follow company policy and wear a suit and tie, but I have to commune with the spirits to propitiate the 4th Quarter earnings gods and eat these magic mushrooms like I used to in [insert name of obscure country here].”
9) The two-cent dialogue of the final episode of Star Wars ignited the desire in me to go to the closest thing to a galaxy, far, far away from two-hundred million dollar productions whose screen play is best explained as being written by Jar Jar Binks on smack. If it wins an Academy award, I’m seriously going to start doubting the power of good side of the Force.
8) I’m just not McLovin’ it.
7) Tivo’s got it covered baby. Oh yeah. God bless Taiwan.
6) Dunno. Never hurts to know another language to whisper sweet nothings into a woman’s ear. Or to say, “hey, get me another cerveza, the game is on! Burp.“
5) I can handle having no running water. It’s an inconvenient waste of time to shower every day anyway. (So, I would move to France but for my inveterate hatred of berets, mimes, and Cirque du Soleil weirdness. Okay, I’m the stereotypical, geographically-inept American -- Cirque du Soleil is from Quebec, but what’s the diff?)
4) I’m just not that bright. I’m willing to eat fine delicacies whether they are cow eyeballs or grubs, and I’m willing to suffer exposure to every sort of science fiction -sized insect or arachnid for free, when I could win $50,000 dollars if I just did the exact same thing on “Fear Factor.”
3) I want to live simpler. To live closer to the land. To leave a smaller ecological footprint. To be in tune with the cycles of nature, sunrise and sunset, and not the hands of a clock. Nevertheless, if I ever have a rooster wake me up at four in the morning again, let’s just say I will be introducing Chik-Fil-A chicken biscuits to my host country pronto.
2) I watched the old Coca-Cola commercial “I’d like to teach the world to sing (in perfect harmony)” so many times, the only way I can figure to get the jingle out of my head is to finally go do something to make the world go sing in perfect harmony. Or at least make the world sing better than William Hung and most the rest of the wannabes on American Idol.
1) I figure if it’s the hardest job I’ll ever love, the rest of my career will be a cake walk. Or at the very least, I will have an excuse to break the mold in the name of diversity…”Oh, sorry I would follow company policy and wear a suit and tie, but I have to commune with the spirits to propitiate the 4th Quarter earnings gods and eat these magic mushrooms like I used to in [insert name of obscure country here].”
brainfart by Daniel at
5:03 PM
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